Helping Your Teen Squash ANTS

What are ANTS?


ANTS are Automatic Negative Thoughts. It's a term coined by Dr. Daniel Amen and it is another name for cognitive distortions. These thoughts cause so much stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and other uncomfortable emotions. They are hard to recognize as adults, let alone as teenagers. Some common ANTS are:

  • "I can't do this."

  • "I can't handle this."

  • "There's too much to do."

  • "I am going to fail."

  • "I am going to mess up."

  • "Everyone is looking at/judging me."

  • "This is impossible."

  • "I don't have time for this."

  • "I am not prepared."

  • "I am not smart."

We often don't realize we are thinking them and we only notice the uncomfortable emotions they bring up.


How do we resolve them? 

When these pop up, grab your anteater to gobble them up. The steps are:

1. Recognize the ANT and write it down on paper or in your phone. Looking at it written down will help you see it more clearly.

2. Categorize what type of ANT it is if you can. There is a fantastic PDF of 15 cognitive distortions with examples and new thoughts to think on my website inside theParent Teen Night Portalon the Intellectual Health page. You can also look up "cognitive distortions" on the internet.

3. Ask yourself these five questions:

  • "Is it true?"

  • "Is it absolutely 100% true?"

  • "How do I feel when I believe this thought?"

  • "How would I feel if I didn't believe this thought?"

  • "What is the opposite of this thought and is it more true?"

4. Finally, choose a true thought to replace the old one.You do NOT have to believe this thought completely. You just want to give your mind another option to help get you unstuck. Just challenging our thoughts really helps them feel less true! My teen son broke his back this summer and the other morning at 5:30 am I got caught up ruminating and worrying about his diet and the supplements and everything we were trying to do to help him heal. I challenged the negative thoughts/ANTS by just thinking "maybe what we are doing is working" and it really helped a lot.

5. Take a small action.Once you have replaced the negative thought, think of a small action you can take that will help reinforce the new thought. This will help strengthen the connection and move you onto a new path. Motion resolves emotion.

The next time your teen is stressed or overwhelmed, grab a piece of paper, draw a ridiculous looking ant on it, and talk with them about which thoughts are causing the stress/emotion. Follow these steps in order and teach your teen the value of recognizing and replacing our automatic negative thoughts.

Beau Sorensen