Help! My Child is a Tween!
I know I panicked a little bit when my oldest turned 12. She was going to be a teenager before I could blink! I was clueless and all the terrible things I had heard about raising teens entered my mind.
If this sounds like you, here are a few ideas to make the transition smoother.
Sit down and write down ALL your thoughts and beliefs about teenagers. What labels have you heard used? What articles have you read? What are you afraid of? What do you think will happen? What conversations are you scared to have? Really spend some time on this and unravel it.
Think about your teenage years. What were they like? Is there anything you wish you had done differently? Do you have any regrets? Are there things you don’t want your teen to do because you did them? Are there good things you parents did that you want to repeat? Did you watch any siblings or friends make mistakes? These underlying experiences, thoughts, and beliefs will strongly influence the way you parent. That can be a good thing AND a bad thing so it’s important to choose as deliberately as possible.
Once all this is written down, go through it. Where are all these thoughts and beliefs coming from? Which thoughts and beliefs are serving you? Which ones do you want to keep?
Choose one fear and start researching it. Are you nervous to talk to your teen about sex? What about puberty? Maybe it’s screen time and social media, or your tween moving on to middle school. Gaining some basic knowledge on even one of these scary topics will help you feel a LOT more confident.
Select a few positive thoughts and beliefs that you want to carry with you into the teen years. Memorize them and think them often. The thoughts we think create pathways in our brains so make some more positive ones. I will list some ideas in my next post to get you started!
The most important thing to remember is that you get to choose your thoughts, reactions, and attitude. So, what will you choose?