Does Your Teen Have a Low EQ?

Daniel Goleman believes that “as much as 80% of adult ‘success’ comes from EQ.” Research is showing that our emotional awareness and our ability to handle our emotions are often more important than our IQ.

Emotionally intelligent people are more successful at work, have better relationships, bounce back from challenges faster, and are more likely to be happy and healthy. Teens have a lot to learn about emotions and it’s hard to know if they are “on track” when their emotions are all over the place, so here are a few signs your teen has low emotional intelligence:

  1. They can't self-motivate

  2. They aren't aware of other people's feelings (they can be aware and still act selfishly so keep that in mind)

  3. They aren't aware of their own emotions (they hide from or deny them, can't name what they are feeling, etc)

  4. They rarely show empathy toward others

  5. They *always* react the same way (ie they aren't learning or improving)

  6. They can't handle disagreements in relationships (they don't know how to negotiate or compromise)

  7. They can't calm down after an outburst (usually takes no more than a few minutes, but some teens are more emotional than others)

  8. They can't accept, or ask for, help from others

  9. They seem "stuck" and aren't developing along a normal path

  10. They don't have any friends or close relationships

  11. They can't/won't accept responsibility for their actions


Chances are high your teen will have a few of these, especially younger teens, because it takes some to become emotionally intelligent. However, if you see your teen in a lot of these, you might want to look at what's going on with them and get them professional help.

If you want your teen to learn more about what emotions are, how to resolve them, healthy ways to express emotions, what motivation is, and more check out my new coaching package for teens called Harnessing Our Emotions under the Guided Coaching Packages section.

Beau Sorensen