Does Your Teen Agree or Disagree First?

All of us have a tendency to agree or disagree when we hear new information. 

I tend to agree. I rarely push back on ideas when I first hear them. I like everyone to get along and it feels easier to just nod and "agree" during discussions. Later I will think about it on my own and decide how I feel about it, but I almost always avoid confrontation. My teen daughter is the same way.

My teen son, on the other hand, has a tendency to disagree first. Sometimes it feels like he thrives on confrontation. :) He pushes back on new things and he likes to be his own authority. His natural reaction when he hears something new is to move to the “opposite” and play the devil's advocate (which drives us crazy because he will dig his heels in on things he knows aren't true). 

Neither way is right or wrong. Knowing which you are and which your teen is can help you connect with them. 

I have learned the best way to talk to my son is to give ideas then give him space. He does better with options and doesn’t like being told what to do. A real win is when I can get him to come up with something on his own! I am learning to not take things personally and to avoid labeling him as "disrespectful."

When I talk to my daughter I need to be aware that she might be "agreeing" with me on the outside but thinking something different on the inside. She often hides things internally and it can take effort to get her to open up, especially if she thinks I will disapprove. I am learning to not take things personally and to not be hurt when I find out she hasn't shared something with me.

Which one is your teen? I would love to connect with you! Feel free to email me at rachelle@theinspiredteen.com.