Are You Disconnected From Your Teen?
It's so easy to become disconnected in life, isn't it? Things get in the way, we become distracted, other things become more important. Sometimes time just flies by and we realize it's been awhile since we reached out to someone in a deep meaningful way. This can even happen in important, close relationships, like the ones we have with our teenagers.
Here are some signs that you have become disconnected from your teen:
1. You fight often or are critical of each other.
2. You avoid making eye contact.
3. You don't know what to talk about.
4. You irritate each other frequently.
5. You don't spend enough time together and when you do it feels awkward.
6. You would rather spend time with someone else.
7. You don't trust them and they don't trust you.
8. You only talk about superficial things.
9. You don't ask each other for advice or go to each other with problems that need to be solved.
10. You aren't getting your needs met.
11. You rarely discuss feelings.
12. Neither of you wants to put in any effort anymore.
Do any of these sound like you and your teen? Some of them sound like me and mine. I can definitely do a much better job than I have been doing lately.
Here are a few things you can try:
1. Apologize for anything you have done wrong (intentionally or unintentionally).
2. Set up something fun to do together.
3. Ask them what they need from you as a parent.
4. Ask them some deeper questions.
5. Serve them in a different, new way.
6. Ask for their opinion on something.
7. Forgive them.
8. Change the stories you are telling about them in your head.
9. Compliment them more often.
10. Give more physical affection (whatever you are both comfortable with).
11. Text them a fun memory or old photo.
12. Send a meme they will enjoy.
13. Get their favorite snack and put it on their bed.
14. Extend some trust.
15. Remind them of their strengths (check out the list of 230 talents in the files section of Raising Inspired Teens).
16. Find a new show to watch together.
17. Go out for a snack/meal.
18. Ask about their friends.
19. Fight the urge to lecture.
20. Validate their emotions.