What to Say to an Anxious Teen

sad teen.jpg

When our teens are anxious, it is hard to know what to say and how to help them. While words won’t stop an anxiety attack (sometimes it has to run its course and being there with your teen is all they need), there are a few things you can say that might help.

Try:

  • "What can I do to help?"

  • "What is the next step?"

  • "Would you like to come with me?"

  • "How are you feeling about this?"

  • "Good job on ______."

  • "Take your time."

  • "We can work through this together."

  • "Your emotions are not silly."

  • "I am always here for you."

  • "Would you like to go somewhere quieter?"

  • "Would it help if I just sat here next to you?"

  • "Are you looking for advice or would you like me to just listen?"

  • "Wow. This is a LOT right now."

  • "This IS hard!"

  • "Can you tell me more about it?"

  • "This is not your fault."


The most important thing you can do is express your love and validate their emotions before you move to any problem solving.

I love the light switch analogy. When your teen is expressing any emotion, ask “is the light switch up or down?” If they say it’s up, it means they want you to listen. If they say it’s down it means they are open to brainstorming solutions. Try it out and let me know how it goes!

Beau Sorensen