Are You Meeting Your Own Needs?
How well are you meeting your own needs?
Parenting teens is HARD. Sometimes they seem just as needy as they were when they were toddlers. While they are getting more independent in some ways, they still need a LOT of attention, help, advice, and patience. It's exhausting, friends.
One of the most important things we can do as parents is to take care of ourselves. We need to recognize our own needs and meet them (alone or with help from others) so that we aren't constantly giving from an empty bucket.
Two weeks ago in my Facebook group, Raising Inspired Teens, I talked about the Five Essential Needs for Feeling Good from the book Dial Down the Drama by Colleen O'Grady. They are:
1. Foundational. These are things like getting enough sleep, drinking water, going to the doctor/dentist, eating fruits and vegetables, etc.
2. Maintenance. These are repetitive routines and habits and chores that happen on a regular basis. They help your personal and family life run smoothly. This can be things like getting your hair or nails done, or having weekly meetings with your family to discuss who does what around the house.
3. Relational. This includes all of our social needs for love, friendship, and connection. We all long to feel connected and loved and appreciated. Sometimes we get stuck on routine conversations about chores and homework and we forget to connect on a deeper level.
4. Personal enrichment. These are the things that you love doing and that get you out of bed in the morning. It can be decorating your house or playing an instrument or creating art. These release dopamine and give us something to look forward to when we are stuck doing something we dislike.
5. Spiritual needs. This will look different for everyone and it is more than just religion. It can include meditating, taking time to list things you are grateful for, journaling, planning, and more. This adds renewal and purpose to your life.
When we don't even know what we need or we are intentionally neglecting ourselves, it's easy to feel frustrated, misunderstood, taken advantage of, irritated, jealous, lonely, unhappy and hopeless. We also lose our sense of self and start to feel like our lives revolve around our kids.
I have created a PDF with just a few of the unmet needs you might have. Take a look at it, see where you are the lowest, and start working on meeting those needs. This is also a great list to go through with your teen. Everyone in your home will feel happier when their needs are being met! :)